


Home Again

by Mademoisellesnowflake



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, lots of hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 21:45:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15204119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mademoisellesnowflake/pseuds/Mademoisellesnowflake
Summary: The first night after the musketeers return to Paris from the front is spent at Athos' office.Feelings happen.





	Home Again

**Author's Note:**

> I guess I really like to imagine different reunion scenarios for thee three. Also I wanted Aramis to get a hug.

It had become a tradition, Porthos had told. They would gather in Athos’ office and drink some wine every time they were back in Paris. They would spend the evening talking and telling stories, occasionally with Constance who wanted to be with her husband, other times just the two of them as d’Artagnan had been dragged away by his demanding and loving wife. They would try to drown the memories of the men dying at the front and fill the gaping hole left by Aramis leaving for the monastery.

As Aramis had come back and d’Artagnan had rushed to Constance, it was only Athos, Porthos and Aramis in the captain’s office that evening. They had opened a few bottles of wine and were all relaxing in the chairs Treville always used to sit them down on.

It felt nice, Aramis thought, to sit with his brothers once more. They were still rather distant, and Porthos especially seemed cold and a bit angry at Aramis, for which Aramis could not blame his friend. He had left at the eve of war, leaving his brothers hanging. He would have been furious, had he been in Porthos’ boots.

But then again, everyone knew Aramis was impulsive and his feelings stronger than Porthos’ punches.

“It’s good to be home”, Porthos whispered, “and have everyone here again. I’ve missed this place.”

“It is”, Athos agreed. “It is good to have you back as well, Aramis. You have no idea how much all of us missed you. D’Artagnan seemed like a lost puppy already on the first morning after you left.”

Aramis couldn’t help but smiling a little sadly at the mental image of d’Artagnan acting like a lost puppy. The boy had been great friends with Aramis from the beginning and finding out he’d gotten married while Aramis had been away had felt somehow surreal. It felt like the boy had grown up while Aramis had been gone.

“I felt like one when you left”, Porthos admitted quietly. When Aramis turned to look at him, he noticed that Porthos seemed a little sad and somehow deflated. Aramis wanted to reach out to him and hold him again, like they’d used to before the convent and Aramis leaving. But he wouldn’t let himself do so; he didn’t feel like he was allowed to comfort his brothers anymore.

“I’m sorry”, Aramis whispered, feeling like he didn’t have enough space around himself. “I…it wasn’t a good idea to go to that monastery after all.”

“Hey, it’s fine”, Porthos said, moving a little closer to Aramis and taking hold of his hand. “You made a deal with your god and needed to do as you promised. In the end it might not have been what he planned for you but now we’re back here again, aren’t we? Isn’t that the best outcome we could have hoped for?”

“I…I guess so”, Aramis whispered. He wanted to squeeze Porthos’ hand, wanted the affection so bad, but couldn’t bring himself to do so.

Aramis knew that he was shaking; he could feel it. He wanted to lean into the soft and kind touch, but he feared that once he did so, he could never leave again. The brothers at the monastery had valued personal space and only the children had hugged him and held his hands. Taking care of the children like a real father had been his lifeline; he had felt like the lack of hugs and someone holding him would drive him mad.

“Aramis?” Porthos asked softly. “Did something happen when you were away?”

Aramis shook his head and stood up, going to fetch some more wine for himself. He could almost feel Athos and Porthos following him with their looks. He felt too tight and wanted to escape. He needed to hide and not let Athos and Porthos see his weakness.

“You two will probably sleep here, will you not?” Athos asked suddenly. “Aramis still doesn’t have a bed here at the garrison and you both have always slept better with someone next to you, have you not?”

“You bet we will”, Porthos agreed. “Won’t we, Aramis?”

“Yes”, Aramis whispered. “We will.”

Aramis heard both Porthos and Athos standing up and moving. He found he couldn’t move for some reason, as if he was afraid to let his brothers see him again after all those years. He was afraid of how he would react to his brothers holding him again after all those years.

He was afraid of showing them how much he had missed them, afraid of their reaction to his own.

“Are you really sure you’re alright?” Porthos asked from right behind Aramis. Aramis’ shoulders jolted, and he turned to look at Porthos, ready to shoo him off. As he saw Porthos’ gentle eyes, however, he found that he could not make Porthos go away. He could only stare at the man as Porthos gently cupped his cheek with one hand. Aramis wanted to pull away as Porthos began stroking Aramis’ cheek with his thumb.

“You’re so wound up”, Porthos mumbled. “What are you not telling us?”

Aramis turned to look away from Porthos so that the man would not see his pain, his fear. His throat hurt so much, and his eyes prickled with unshed tears as his breathing sped up. It was only the strength in Porthos’ arms pulling him into a hug that prevented him from escaping. The strength that had held him so many times when he could not go on alone…

Aramis cried as he leaned on Porthos’ shoulder. They slowly slid down on the floor, sitting there like they’d used to when things had been easier between them. Porthos rocked them back and forth, knowing the motion would calm Aramis.

“Hey, it’s alright”, Porthos whispered into Aramis’ ear. “We both love you – _I_ love you – and we’re so happy you came back to us. We missed you so much, you know. Sometimes Athos would wake up at the front and call for you before he remembered you were gone. D’Artagnan actually cried a little when he realised you wouldn’t be coming back. And I, I cried more than he did.”

Aramis pushed himself even closer to Porthos, trying to comfort him. He could hear Porthos sniffling as well, which made his heart hurt twice as hard. He had never wanted to hurt Porthos by leaving; he had left so he could protect his brothers from his own idiotic and impulsive mind.

But instead, he had hurt everyone.

“I’m sorry”, Aramis whispered. “I’m so sorry for hurting you. Oh god, I never meant to hurt you; I was so afraid of causing you more pain with my impulsiveness that I thought that the only way to get out was to leave you. God, Porthos, I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

Porthos held him closer while they both cried quietly. They wouldn’t – _couldn’t_ – let go of each other. They needed each other to keep themselves sane like gravity kept people on the ground. Aramis’ heart ached at the thought of how long he’d survived without Porthos.

“You’re on the floor again”, Athos’ voice suddenly said from next to them. Aramis felt Athos’ arm on his back and he shuddered. “You’re making me cry too if you keep crying like this. What is it that made you cry?”

“I missed you”, Aramis whispered, his voice wet with tears. “It hurt.”

“I know”, Athos sighed as he pulled Aramis a little closer to himself. “It really did.”

The three men sat on the floor for quite some time, comforting each other as they tried to piece themselves back together again. Aramis was in the middle, drawing strength from the gentle touches of Porthos and Athos who were trying to convince themselves of Aramis actually being there. They stayed like that until there was a knock on the door and Athos stood up to go open the door.

Aramis and Porthos stood up too, just in time to see Athos opening the door which revealed a young and very nervous cadet. He was small – _smaller than d’Artagnan had been_ , Aramis thought – and he was fidgeting with something.

“What is it, Brujon?” Athos asked softly. The boy looked at Athos, his expression fairly terrified.

“I…um, Clairmont and I arranged a bed into monsieur Porthos’ room”, the cadet stammered, “just like monsieur Porthos asked of us. Is it true, captain? That the Aramis is back?”

“See for yourself, Brujon”, Athos said and motioned towards Aramis who had only barely managed to wipe his eyes. The cadet’s expression lit up and he rushed to Aramis to shake his hand.

“It’s an honour meeting you, monsieur”, the cadet said, smiling widely. “I’ve heard so much good of you from monsieur Porthos! You’re basically a legend; I never thought I could actually meet you. I…I don’t have the words for how lucky I feel for meeting you, monsieur Aramis!”

Aramis felt odd; he had never thought that he could be a legend at the garrison. Why would he be; he was just Aramis after all.

“Brujon”, Athos called softly and smiled a little. “We would like to rest. You can get to know Aramis tomorrow too.”

“Ah, right”, the cadet – Brujon – mumbled as his face reddened and he let go of Aramis’ hand. He turned away and walked to the door before turning around again and looking at Aramis and whispering, “it was honestly such an honour to meet you, monsieur Aramis.”

“Likewise”, Aramis said and tried to smile at the cadet. Brujon beamed at Aramis and left, humming something to himself. Athos smiled and shook his head, suddenly looking a little bit fatherly.

“Will you still be staying the night?” Athos asked quietly. “I understand it if you want some time on your own but –”

“I will”, Aramis interrupted. “I want to stay the night. I want to be near you two again. If I’m allowed, that is.”

Porthos pulled Aramis into a loose hug and kissed his temple. Aramis leaned into him and sighed contently; he had been terrified of a possible rejection from Athos and Porthos. Being held again like that after all those years had made him so happy that his heart felt like it was going to burst.

“You’re always allowed back here to us”, Athos whispered. Aramis noticed that his eyes were gleaming and that he was trembling ever so slightly. His smile was a bit too wide and tight, meaning that Athos was trying to hold his tears.

“That won’t do Athos”, Porthos mumbled at Aramis’ side. “Come here. Hug.”

Athos dipped his head and allowed Porthos to hold him as well. Aramis wrapped his free arm around Athos as well and clung onto him. For a moment the three men just stood there, holding each other, until Athos pulled away, wiping his eyes and clearing his throat.

“We should sleep”, Athos said quietly. “We’ll get our new duties tomorrow.”

And so they did. Aramis was sleeping in the middle, hugged by Porthos who was sleeping against the wall. Athos was on the other side of the bed, holding Aramis from behind and comforting himself with the presence of the friend he had already thought lost. Nothing interrupted their sleep that night.

They were all home again.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback warms my soul!
> 
> (I can be found on tumblr as talvenhenki)


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